Conversations about pregnancy loss and reproductive grief often remain hushed. However, award-winning cartoonist Chari Pere has emerged as a powerful voice in this space, using her artistic talent to break the silence and create spaces for healing.
Through her acclaimed Unspoken Cartoonmentary series, Pere has touched countless lives by illustrating the raw, emotional journey of miscarriage and pregnancy loss, offering solace to those who often feel isolated in their grief. As we recognized Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month last month, Pere released her latest work, Determination, a deeply moving comic that explores the complex emotional terrain of a mother – who faces the heart-wrenching decision of pregnancy reduction after achieving her dream of carrying twins.
The comic, which launched on October 15th with an animated version in development, continues Pere’s tradition of tackling difficult reproductive health topics with sensitivity and artistic grace. We had the opportunity to chat with Pere, and she discussed how her work has evolved from personal healing to public advocacy, touching on everything from the often-overlooked male experience of pregnancy loss to the intersection of reproductive rights and medical necessity in today’s political landscape.
Pere shares insights into how art can serve as a powerful medium for processing grief and fostering understanding around reproductive health issues that affect millions of families worldwide. Check out our interview with her below.
Can you share a bit about your journey into becoming a professional cartoonist? What inspired you to pursue this creative path?
Chari Pere: I’ve been drawing since I was a year old, and my parents enrolled me in my first art lessons at age six. At 11, my dad brought home two Calvin & Hobbes collections from Barnes & Noble, and I fell in love with the medium. I’m lucky that my parents are so supportive, and encouraged me to pursue cartooning at the School of Visual Arts, where I graduated valedictorian with a B.F.A. in Cartooning. I’ve been working in the field ever since.
Can you tell us about your new comic “Determination” and the story it aims to share?
Chari Pere: DETERMINATION is the fourth comic in my Unspoken cartoon series featuring real stories about reproductive health challenges. Released this October for Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, this installment tells photographer Abbie Sophia’s harrowing story. Abbie, who dreamed of having twin daughters like herself and her sister, instead had to choose whether to abort one of her twin fetuses to save the other — and herself.
Abbie and I began working on this comic together in 2019. I was amazed at how openly she was sharing her experience on social media. Since we both had baby girls three days apart, her story hit me hard. I began writing the comic script shortly thereafter, but put the project on hold for what was supposed to be a few months while I battled a bout of postpartum depression. The hold was extended when the pandemic broke out a few months later. I only dusted it off this year after receiving a fellowship from the Jewish Writers’ Initiative Digital Storytellers Lab to continue the series and turn them into animated shorts. I pulled out my old scripts and began working from exactly where I left off!
I hope that Abbie’s story, along with the other true experiences in my series, helps make difficult topics less taboo and easier to talk about–like miscarriages, Down syndrome, abortion and IVF. The goal is to help others experiencing the same scenarios feel less alone. These are the stories I wish I had when I went through my own traumatic miscarriage ten years ago. If I’d had these sources back then, it would have eased the emotional torture and guilt that I experienced. I decided to share my story so that nobody else would suffer alone, and it’s been such a healing experience.
How did you approach depicting the complex emotional and ethical dilemma the protagonist faces?
Chari Pere: My life dream was to be a syndicated newspaper comic strip cartoonist. However, the year after I graduated from college, the first iPhone was released–completely negating the entire four years of education I had just experienced as the world almost instantly switched to digital content. However, the storytelling skills that I learned during that time were invaluable. I developed a strong focus on taking complex details and boiling them down to their essence. So, for “DETERMINATION”, I started by asking Abbie to share everything she remembered about her experience with me–and then my work that followed was to pull out the most heart-wrenching parts. There was a lot I had to cut that was important, but it’s all about stringing together the most essential pieces to create an impactful story.
The beauty of this medium, too, is that you don’t have to draw exactly what happened, as it happened. I tell my comics in a style that I hope is as universally pleasing as possible so that the reader can feel like they are stepping into the shoes of the main character in each story; that the thought bubbles and captions are their own.
I also take difficult details and scenes and try to make them as accessible as possible. I try to think of ways to portray emotions or thoughts in a way that you can’t do in real life. For example, a running theme throughout my comic is two pink “IT’S A GIRL!” balloons that both start out full and floating, but one of them deflates. It’s easier to digest a deflating balloon instead of seeing a lifeless fetus. I also use thought bubbles, checklists, hearts, and other easy-to-understand icons to help make the story a little lighter. And in all my stories, I try to add moments of humor to break up the heavy storytelling. Life includes a range of emotions, and the stories I relate to most feature all of them.
How didyour personal experience inform the themes and perspectives in this new work?
Chari Pere: Note: I am not personally a twin, but “DETERMINATION” features the true story of Abbie Sophia, who is a twin. (Funny enough, I did happen to know Abbie’s twin independently of her and it was a year or two before I realized they were related. I had no idea the script I was working on was about her!) But Abbie having a twin sister, and dreaming of having twin girls, made the decision about whether or not to reduce the pregnancy so much more heartbreaking. It wasn’t just about losing a fetus; it was about losing a very specific dream that was almost in her grasp, then suddenly yanked away.
How did the “Unspoken” Cartoonmentary series come about, and what was the process of developing this deeply personal work?
Chari Pere: Ten years ago I had a miscarriage. Like Abbie Sophia, I had a dream to have two children–though I wished for mine to be two years apart. Everything was going according to plan; I got pregnant with my second baby on schedule and heard a heartbeat at my first appointment. But suddenly I started spotting, so I scheduled an appointment with my doctor at the earliest appointment available. It happened to be the day my husband was leaving for five days to chaperone a high school baseball team at a competition across the country. He was delayed at the airport when I got the bad news from the doctor that my pregnancy would likely miscarry.
Over the next five days, I was scared and alone with a toddler. My husband and I lived on the opposite coast from our families, so I relied on the kindness of friends to help with errands like driving my son to school or cooking as I spent most of the time resting in bed. Other than three friends who were open about their miscarriages, I had no idea how common it was, so I felt like a total failure; that the failed pregnancy was my fault. I tried to google others’ stories to find someone else to relate to, but at the time there was not much online.
For some reason, there is this taboo that we don’t talk about miscarriages or early pregnancy issues–so even though I was scared and suffering, I thought I wasn’t supposed to say anything. It was only after I started opening up to a handful of close confidantes that I found out how many of my family and friends had experienced one or multiple miscarriages, including my own mom, grandmother and great-grandmother!
The realization made me mad. Had everyone been open about their experiences, I could have spent less time feeling like my body had let me down, and more time focusing on the truth: this was NOT my fault. I was simply the 1-in-4 statistic of women who experience a miscarriage. I couldn’t change the fact that the fetus was not viable, but I certainly wouldn’t have been as hard on myself if I’d had that perspective earlier.
Having grown up reading graphic novels like Maus, Persepolis and Mom’s Cancer, I knew the power of the medium, and how comics can help tell difficult stories in iconic ways. I eventually realized I had to share my story, to help others feel less alone.
In 2017, I released the comic version of my personal story, Miscarried. I shared it on social media, and with the support of actress Mayim Bialik, the comic went viral. I began hearing other stories and thinking of new perspectives to share, and thus, my series was born. I hope to keep expanding to cover new topics in this very important medium.
How have readers responded to the vulnerability and honesty you bring to these sensitive subjects through your art?
Chari Pere: Since the launch of my first comic, I’ve received messages from men and women all over the world. I once went to present at a conference in England, and someone came to my workshop to tell me that my comic came out the week she had been going through her own miscarriage, and had helped her and her husband immensely. People thank me for speaking up and for showing different perspectives. I have friends who unfortunately have experienced miscarriages in the years since my comic was released, and they have told me how grateful they were to have the comic to make them feel less alone.
My second comic, “Michael’s Miscarriage”, actually came about from a fan email. A few days after the release of my first comic, I was telling my husband that I should really do a comic from a husband’s perspective, because as little as women discuss miscarriages, men don’t express their feelings at all. An hour later, I received a fan email from a woman named Beth, in which she suggested that I should consider creating a comic from a husband’s perspective, because her husband Michael struggled to find an outlet to process their miscarriage. So we collaborated, and that’s how my second story came to life. By sharing our own stories, we help others and heal ourselves.
In what ways has creating this type of deeply personal work been therapeutic or transformative for you?
Chari Pere: Sharing my story is what helped me heal. By being open, and seeing how I could help others just by sharing my experience, it feels like my miscarriage served a purpose and did not happen in vain. Beth has told me how much sharing her comic has helped heal her as well. By removing all the sadness, disappointment, and heaviness from my body, I was able to give life to a story that continues to help others.
With the 2024 elections on the horizon, how do you anticipate the political climate impacting discussions around reproductive health issues?
Chari Pere: People are certainly more open to discussing reproductive health issues now more than ever. Ten years ago I could barely find any personal experiences online, other than a few articles that didn’t get into much detail. Now there are many websites, organizations, and works of art to raise awareness of it all. But ultimately, reproductive health shouldn’t be a political issue. It’s about healthcare, and women’s personal stories and decisions.
In your experience, what are some of the misconceptions or lack of understanding around medically necessary abortions?
Chari Pere: The biggest surprise to me was how common abortions are and how many of my friends or loved ones have had to choose one. You can’t fully understand the situation until you or someone close to you has been there. I was “lucky”; I was told that if my body didn’t “take care” of my nonviable pregnancy, I would have to decide whether or not to abort. My body took care of it by itself, but I can tell you that the only thing scarier than having to make the decision would have been not having the option.
People don’t realize, abortions aren’t just for people who don’t want children. All I had wanted was to have two children close in age. If I’d had to carry a dying fetus in my body for longer than necessary, not only would I have suffered months of physical pain and mental agony–but it would also have further delayed my dream, and prevented me from healing and moving forward.
It’s terrifying that so many women now are not able to make the decisions that are best for their families due to changing state laws. Abortions are not just about the loss of a potential fetus; it’s about healthcare, both physical and mental.
Have you encountered any unique challenges or backlash as a female cartoonist tackling these weighty subject matters?
Chari Pere: Not really. Since I’m dealing with issues that are mostly biologically related to women, it makes sense that they are topics that I would tackle because I am part of the gender that carries the pregnancy. I’ve also been pleasantly surprised at the overwhelming support of my comics and animated shorts in the “Unspoken” series.
However, I have faced challenges being a Jewish cartoonist who observes the Sabbath. I have been criticized for the way I handled my personal miscarriage experience, as shown in my comic–most specifically about hesitating to “break the Sabbath” to call my doctor for an opinion. But, that was part of my story. I wanted to show the raw and real experience, which then left me vulnerable to all sorts of judgments. I also had an experience with a film festival that would not accommodate my requests to avoid screening the animated version of Miscarried on the Jewish Sabbath, when I could not attend. (They also could not accommodate my Kosher diet. So, ultimately, I didn’t go to my own show.) However, I continue to heavily feature Jewish themes in my stories because it’s the community I’m part of, and because I feel it’s important to highlight how strongly the Jewish religion supports a woman’s right to choose.
In what ways have you witnessed the grieving process differ between men and women when it comes to pregnancy loss?
Chari Pere: I realized right away after my own miscarriage how differently people process things–sometimes based on gender, and sometimes just because we’re all different. Personally, I needed to talk about it, google information and learn more about the loss, and I immediately wondered how quickly I could get pregnant again. My husband (award-winning voiceover actor Eli Schiff, who is also Co-Producer, editor, and casting director of the “Unspoken” series), was the total opposite. In his recent interview for The Everymom about the male experience of a partner’s miscarriage, he talked about how he played video games to cope. He didn’t want to talk to anybody.
However, in Michael’s Miscarriage, Michael was someone who was desperately looking for connection and somewhere to be heard after his partner miscarried. Instead, he was simply met with the general advice of “suck it up and move on, man”. Often, I’ve learned that men believe since they are not physically carrying the baby, they should keep their emotions to themselves, and avoid dumping their emotional baggage onto their already-suffering wives. But The Everymom article discusses the dangers of men repressing these emotions, and how it may come out in other more aggressive ways, like anger or substance abuse. Opening up helps a couple strengthen their relationship and work through their grief together.
This is also why it’s sometimes even more important for men to discuss their pregnancy loss experiences than women. When I disclosed my miscarriage experience to a close male friend, he called my husband right away to check on him–revealing during the call that he wished someone had been there to check on him when his partner experienced their own two miscarriages.
What advice would you give to aspiring artists or cartoonists who want to use their craft to shine a light on important social issues and make a meaningful impact?
Chari Pere: Be both honest and kind to yourself and your subject matter. Also, get creative; think about ways you can make the same point in the most artistically interesting and engaging way as possible. You’re not going to please everyone, and you’re not going to be able to tell every detail of the story. Craft your story to be the best version possible to get your point across without losing the audience. For example, each of my animated shorts only feature about half of the material in each of the original 10-page comic versions. I had to cut down each story to the bare essence. You can tell a story is successful when the reader doesn’t feel like anything is missing; you have as only the most relevant details as you need to make your point. Figuring out the fillers and making the tough cuts is challenging, but extremely rewarding once you succeed.
Looking ahead, what other important narratives or social issues do you hope to explore through your art and advocacy work?
Chari Pere: There are so many other topics I’d like to tackle, and not only within reproductive health. While there are many issues related to having children that are on my radar (such as stillbirth, postpartum depression, infertility, secondary infertility, genetic disorders, adoption and more), there are also so many other difficult issues to explore. There are topics like ADHD, Autism, Dwarfism, the loss of a loved one, and so many more to cover–many of which I’ve also experienced personally and am eager to illustrate.
Chari Pere: Lastly, is there a specific mantra, quote, or affirmation that you hold close to your heart?
Chari Pere: This year, I find myself reminding myself that “We’re all just doing the best we can.” We each have our own upbringings, backgrounds, financial situations, religions; we’re all making the best decisions given our circumstances and beliefs. I’ve had to learn over the years that we have to make our own choices for ourselves and not for others, because we are the ones who have to live with them. Also, it’s good to remind ourselves that just like we are doing the best we can, others are as well. It’s so important to respect each of our decisions and each other. When someone is acting out rudely, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, that maybe they are having a bad day and are dealing with something difficult unrelated to me. When we stop being so hard on ourselves and start being proud of ourselves, we lift up not only our own spirits but the spirits of those around us as well.
Emily Sprinkle, also known as Emma Loggins, is a designer, marketer, blogger, and speaker. She is the Editor-In-Chief for Women's Business Daily where she pulls from her experience as the CEO and Director of Strategy for Excite Creative Studios, where she specializes in web development, UI/UX design, social media marketing, and overall strategy for her clients.
Emily has also written for CNN, Autotrader, The Guardian, and is also the Editor-In-Chief for the geek lifestyle site FanBolt.com
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