Let's Talk Finances: Newlywed Questions About Money

Even if you’re uncomfortable chatting about finances with friends, you need to be completely transparent with your life partner. There are certainly fiscal newlywed questions you need to ask before you walk down the aisle.

In order to set your union up for success, you need to be on the same page when it comes to money. Never assume you both have the same views on finances until you have the “money talk.”

So here are essential financial newlywed questions you need to get answers to early on.

Newlywed Questions: Your Perception of Money

Everyone has a different philosophy when it comes to money. Our understanding of the value of money depends heavily on our upbringing and current worldview. If you grew up with financial insecurity, you likely will be more spendthrift now. Even if you currently make as much money as your partner, you likely are more hesitant to spend than they are. How you’re raised to see money as a child strongly impacts your future relationship with finances.

So here are some questions to ask each other to see how different your perceptions of money are.

If you lost a $100 bill, how would you feel? Would you shrug it off and say things happen? Would you be filled with anxiety? Or would you be angry?
How much money do you think is too much for a gift your spouse bought for you? Would you as a partner prefer to be surprised with a big gift, or consulted before the purchase?
How much could your spouse spend without you feeling like you should have been consulted?
How much should we have at any given time in savings for a rainy day fund?
Where are your priorities? What are you willing to spend top dollar on? For example, do you both have a household chore you abhor and are willing to pay a service person to do it for you? Do you have places where you’re willing to cut costs to make up for that?

Newlywed Questions: Let’s Talk About Debt, Baby

If you watched Love is Blind Season 1, you were probably shocked at Amber’s perception of money and debt. She had low credit (her only line of credit was a make-up store credit card) and she had $20,000 in student loans for a degree she didn’t have. And she had been making irregular payments. That was a huge bombshell to drop on Matt. But he loved her and made it work. He sold his house so they could pay off her debt and move forward.

If you found out your future spouse had that much debt and was making no effort to pay it off, how would you feel?

That’s why it’s important to have those conversations now, so you aren’t blindsided later. Here’s some debt questions you need to ask your future spouse before tying the knot:

Do you currently have debt? From what and how much?
How does debt make you feel? Would you rather pay for something up front in cash or put it on credit?
If you have debt, would you rather pay it off over time or pay it off as soon as possible?
How much debt do you think is acceptable to have?
What types of things are you willing to go into debt for?
If one of us was hospitalized for an extended period of time, how would you approach our hospital debt?

Newlywed Questions: How Much to Spend on the Wedding

Before the pandemic, the average cost of a US wedding was $28,000. The average price dropped dramatically to $19,000 in 2020.

The moral of the story is that weddings can be expensive. But they don’t need to be. You have to ask each other what is more important: the ability to save up for the future or having one really nice day?

Here are some questions to discuss on the price of your wedding.

What is the most important thing to you on your wedding day? Where would you like to spend the most money?
Where are areas you’re willing to compromise on if we go over budget in another area?
What’s more important: a gorgeous wedding day or an ideal vacation for the honeymoon?
How many guests do we want? And if we want a small number, do we want to make that a savings point, or do we want to have a deluxe wedding for a small crowd?
How expensive do you want your bachelorette/bachelor party to be?
What is the ceiling for what you would want to spend on the entire day?

Remember: your partner’s favorite thing about the day should be the fact that it ends with you two being married.

Newlywed Questions: Financial Decisions for Your Children

So you’ve already had the “do we or don’t we” conversation on whether or not to have kids.

And if you haven’t, you put down this article right now and go have that talk.

So if you’ve both answered in the affirmative, you’ve just agreed to quite possibly the most expensive investment a person could ever make: a child.

Kids are expensive. Ridiculously expensive. And you need to have a discussion – more likely multiple discussions – on how you anticipate handling that financial responsibility.

Here are some questions to get you started on this conversation about kids:

Do we want to have a specific financial goal to hit before trying, or do we want to just see what happens?
What will we do if we get pregnant and can’t afford a child yet?
Are we conceiving or adopting? How are we planning on paying for the hospital bills or adoption service fees?
Do we want our kids to go to private school?
How many kids do we want? How far apart do we want to have them to decrease the financial strain?
Do we plan on paying for our kids’ college? If so, how much? Do we start saving now?

Find Common Financial Ground

Your answers won’t always be in sync. But that’s not a sign to run. While some opinions on money can’t be reconciled, it’s okay to have different opinions on some matters. If you feel awkward deciding who will share their thoughts first, have each person write down their answers and then switch papers.

Whenever you find that you have a difference of opinion, it’s an opportunity to show your problem-solving skills as a couple. There are countless challenges you’ll face together in a lifelong union. These newlywed questions give you the perfect opportunity to practice that partnership.

Sarah Margaret Henry

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Author, Artist, Photographer.

Sarah Margaret is an artist who expresses her love for feminism, equality, and justice through a variety of mediums: photography, filmmaking, poetry, illustration, song, acting, and of course, writing.

She owns Still Poetry Photography, a company that showcases her passion for capturing poetic moments in time. Instead of poetry in motion, she captures visual poetry in fractions of a second, making cherished keepsakes of unforgettable moments.

She is the artist behind the Still Poetry Etsy shop, which houses her illustrations and bespoke, handmade items. She is the author of intricacies are just cracks in the wall, a narrative poetry anthology that follows a young woman discovering herself as she emerges from an abusive relationship.