Setting Relationship Goals With the Person You Love Most

Looking for ways to revitalize your romantic relationship with your partner? Setting (and sticking to) relationship goals can be a way to make your relationship feel new, young, and fresh again.

When sitting down to make these goals, make sure you include your partner. No relationship should be one-sided, and making this list together will help each of you communicate your hopes and needs in the relationship. Here is a list of relationship goals that will make for a good starting point for your conversation.

Couple Goals

Relationship goals are ones that should be made with your partner: not decided by you and dictated to them. Sitting down and setting these goals gives you both a chance to express what you need and brainstorm on how you can both meet those needs together.

Here are three common areas people can explore when setting relationship goals.

Communication

Failure to communicate will always wreak havoc on relationships. Even if you think it’s obvious that you cooked the dinner, so they should do the dishes, if you don’t express that expectation in words, they may not know how you expect them to fill your needs.

Digital communication is important, too. A common way people like to receive love is with something as simple as a wake-up text message.

Something my husband started doing (once we moved further from his job and he could no longer come home for lunch) is call me whenever he’s getting food. It gives us a chance to chat about our days so far, and since I work from home, I get a chance to talk with someone other than our dogs. It also reminds me it’s time to make food for myself. He’s looking out for both my physical and emotional needs with just one phone call.

A healthy relationship is one where both people feel comfortable expressing their needs verbally. If one partner is feeling lonely in the evenings, they should feel safe asking their partner to spend less time on social media so they can have more quality time together.

So when your partner asks, “What’s wrong?” and you say, “Oh, nothing,” you shouldn’t be hiding your true feelings behind that answer. It isn’t for your partner to “figure out” what is wrong; tell them directly, otherwise, you can’t fault them for not fulfilling your needs.

If you express a need and they choose to ignore it, that’s a different matter than them just not intuitively knowing what you need.

Open and honest communication is the foundation of good relationships, and should always be one of the top relationship goals for couples. If you feel that you both need more work in this area, set goals to both be better communicators and better listeners. Once you’re able to communicate your needs, make sure you follow through in fulfilling them for each other.

Physical Intimacy

Not all physical intimacy is sex. For some people, such as people who identify as asexual, a healthy relationship does not need to include sexual affection. Physical affection for them could look like hand-holding or cuddling while watching a movie. However you define your physical needs in a relationship, make sure you engage in these behaviors on a regular basis. Communication is essential in establishing boundaries and needs on both sides.

If you are a couple that enjoys expressing love through sex, make sure you set aside time to engage in these behaviors. While it’s nice when sex happens at unexpected times, there’s nothing wrong with scheduling date night, especially if you need to make arrangements for childcare. Make time and space for physical intimacy to happen.

Dating

No matter the length of time you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you should never stop dating your partner. Whether you just started, you reached the one-year mark, or you put a ring on it a decade ago, you still need to be dating.

So what does that mean? In addition to setting aside dedicated time for date night, it’s having a mindset that avoids complacency.

When you’re dating, you’re trying to win this person over. You do small romantic gestures, speak to them kindly, and treat them right to prove that you are the one for them.

You can never stop expressing that mentality.

Thinking that you’ve already got them and they’ll never leave is the recipe for a loveless, dead relationship. Good relationships always strive to keep the spark alive, both in good times and bad. It’s saying I love you, both verbally and through their love language. It’s keeping that physical connection, in whatever way you choose to express it. And it’s improving your relationship by taking stock of what’s working and what’s not, then making the changes to make that relationship even stronger.

Relationship Goals Quotes

Need some more inspiration to help you both maintain your relationship goals? Here are some quotes on what makes for a healthy relationship.

“Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up, she’s there. When you come back from work, she’s there. You fall asleep, she’s there. When you eat dinner, she’s there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it’s not.” – Everybody Loves Raymond
“I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and the courage to accept the love in return.” – Maya Angelou
“We loved with a love that was more than love.” – Edgar Allan Poe
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao-Tzu
“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.” – Kaui Hart Hemmings
“… When I look at you, I can feel it. And… and I look, and I… and I’m home.” – Finding Nemo
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Brontë
“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” – Gone with the Wind
“Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.” – Juno
“We were together even when we were apart.” – Shannon A. Thompson
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen

Well, there you have it: inspiration for setting relationship goals for you and your love. Whether you want to start spending time together more often, physically touching more frequently, or scheduling date night more regularly, we hope your relationship goals continue to bring you joy throughout the year.

Sarah Margaret Henry

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Author, Artist, Photographer.

Sarah Margaret is an artist who expresses her love for feminism, equality, and justice through a variety of mediums: photography, filmmaking, poetry, illustration, song, acting, and of course, writing.

She owns Still Poetry Photography, a company that showcases her passion for capturing poetic moments in time. Instead of poetry in motion, she captures visual poetry in fractions of a second, making cherished keepsakes of unforgettable moments.

She is the artist behind the Still Poetry Etsy shop, which houses her illustrations and bespoke, handmade items. She is the author of intricacies are just cracks in the wall, a narrative poetry anthology that follows a young woman discovering herself as she emerges from an abusive relationship.