When was the last time you truly felt excited to spend time with your partner? If you feel like you and your partner are simply coasting, you might have to consider warning signs the relationship is over.
Relationships in the long term should feel safe and an adventure all at once. If you don’t feel either, it’s a good idea to reassess. Indifference is lethal to a once healthy relationship. If you’re feeling like you’re spending time with the wrong person and are no longer interested in your partner, it might be time to move on.
Let’s talk about red flags that point to signs the relationship is over.
Signs of Love: Signs You Should Not Break Up
Relationships are not all butterflies and rainbows. Every couple that’s together long enough hits a rough patch. We all experience ups and downs as individuals, and it’s no different as a couple.
Here are signs that you two are still in love, and just experiencing a difficult time that can be overcome:
- You both want and are willing to fix the problem
- One of you experienced a big life change and are adjusting
- You’re experiencing financial insecurity
- One of you has an external source of stress that affects your/their mental health
- You’re overwhelmed and busy, temporarily unable to spend time together
- You aren’t afraid to discuss the future
Signs the Relationship Is Over
Red flags come in many sizes, shapes, and hues. There’s no one tell tale sign that hints that the end of the relationship is on its way. But here are some of the signs the relationship is over, or soon could be.
1. “I Want Someone to Love Me” Rather Than “I Love Them”
Having a partner comes with a lot of perks. It’s great to have someone to spend time with, develop an emotional connection with, engage in physical intimacy with, and come home to at night. It makes it easy to get your sexual desires satiated when you have a dedicated partner. And from a practical perspective, splitting life two ways costs significantly less than living as a single person.
Sometimes, you can want love so badly that you’ll settle for someone that isn’t your soulmate. But having a relationship with someone you don’t see a future with or don’t feel passionate about doesn’t bring true joy. It can certainly bring comfort. It’s easy to get comfortable with a partner and just fall into patterns. There’s nothing “wrong,” per se, so if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Right?
Do you really want to settle for someone you don’t truly love simply because you like saying you’re in a relationship? Because it would be too much effort to move out?
2. You’re Not You
Being with the right partner feels like you’re home. You get to take your shoes off, let your hair down, and completely be yourself.
If you feel like you need to hide aspects of who you are from your partner, you need to take the time to truly analyze that choice.
Why are you hiding yourself from them? Do you feel like you need to pretend to be someone you’re not?
You need to be 100% honest and authentic with your partner. If you feel like you need to alter parts of your personality to be around them, that’s a major red flag. And that goes for their friends and family, too. If they expect you to pretend to be someone you’re not around their loved ones, you should seriously question why you’re with someone that edits you.
3. I’m Not in Love…But They Are
Have you ever had a partner say those three magic words well before you were ready to reciprocate? There are plenty of reasons why someone would feel that way before the other. Not every couple moves exactly at the same pace, completely in sync with their partner. Many healthy relationships start with someone saying “I love you” before the other is ready.
But if your partner says they’re in love with you and that statement makes you feel uncomfortable, you need to do some soul searching. Why are you having that response to their sign of affection?
4. You’re Fighting for Their Attention: Never Force Anyone to Talk to You
You always have to ask them to text you back. It feels like you’re always planning date night. They never reach out to ask about your day.
You should not have to beg your partner to talk to you.
Your partner should want to hear more about your feelings and thoughts. They should have an interest in what you’re doing. A partner should want to schedule dates with their loved one.
If you’re doing all the heavy lifting and any of the conversations you do have solely focus on them, you need to take a step back and realize that you deserve a partner that wants you without prompting.
Not sure if you’re holding the conversation? Stop talking. Wait to see when they pick the conversation back up. It doesn’t take a relationship expert to tell you it’s a bad sign if the conversation doesn’t start again. Make sure you’re paying attention to who initiates all the conversation.
5. The Biggest Sign the Relationship Is Over and You’re Headed for “It’s Not You, It’s Me”
Above all else, there’s one true tell-tale sign that your relationship is over.
You looked up and clicked on an article about signs the relationship is over.
If you feel the need to research how much longer your relationship will last, then you really already have the answer you need.
True love doesn’t leave you wondering if they’re “the one.” If your partner gets down on one knee and you can’t stop yourself from saying yes before they finish their speech because you’re so excited, then it’s a good sign you’re ready to commit to them for life.
When you have any ounce of doubt in your head, you need to listen to your gut. Love isn’t just logical, physical, or emotional. It’s a combination of all three. Listen to your instincts, feel the attraction you have for them, and think about how you feel about them. By taking into account all three, you’ll be able to figure out if the relationship has run its course.
Author, Artist, Photographer.
Sarah Margaret is an artist who expresses her love for feminism, equality, and justice through a variety of mediums: photography, filmmaking, poetry, illustration, song, acting, and of course, writing.
She owns Still Poetry Photography, a company that showcases her passion for capturing poetic moments in time. Instead of poetry in motion, she captures visual poetry in fractions of a second, making cherished keepsakes of unforgettable moments.
She is the artist behind the Still Poetry Etsy shop, which houses her illustrations and bespoke, handmade items. She is the author of intricacies are just cracks in the wall, a narrative poetry anthology that follows a young woman discovering herself as she emerges from an abusive relationship.